"Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." - Louise Hay
Perfectionism (noun): refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.
The whole idea of being perfect continues to haunt my thoughts, dreams, and actions. Sure, sometimes I am able to push myself further and achieve greater results because of perfectionism, but most of the time it only allows the harsh criticism in my head to overcome the healthy and realistic thoughts that should be in there place.
"That was okay, but you could do so much better... you just have to work harder, do more, push yourself..."
It goes on and on, and it never makes me feel any better or appreciate what I've already accomplished. This perfectionist side of me comes out most when I review past performances. I quickly become consumed with the idea that everything I did wasn't good enough. The outcome? Singing and performing was no longer fun, it was just work. This unquenchable thirst to be perfect controlled my life and sucked the happiness or contentment out of any situation.
All of my life, I sought approval from others, and maybe that's because I never approved of myself. Even as a child, I sought approval from my teacher, parents, and any other adult figure in my life. But as the old saying goes, "If you can't love yourself, how can anyone else love you?"
Seeking approval, acceptance, and love outside of myself was not the answer. I had to look on the inside, and be okay with the view. I had to love myself and be okay with where I am today. Instead of being my worst critic, why not try to be my best supporter? What if that was possible? What if I didn't have to be perfect? I realized that if I am to love myself, where I am today, I have to accept that I am not perfect and that I will never be perfect.
To be human is to be imperfect. Once I accepted that, it was finally okay to accept myself as an imperfect being. Today, I can honestly say that I love myself as I am, and that, my friends, is priceless.
Till next time, Y'all!
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We've all been our worst critic. When did it help? When did it not?